The Romeo Club Read online

  With a grin, I scanned over Kevin’s lists of wants. Learn how to talk to girls. Maybe get a date. Better my wardrobe. Learn to dance. Okay, his weren’t too bad. The biggest thing for him, would be getting over his shyness. Next, I pulled out C.C.’s. Get to second base. Get Liza McGregor to go to prom with me. Talk to girls. See if any girls want to dress up as Princess Leia. Learn to kiss. Get the male lead for final drama club show. Make girls fall for me. Geez. No way in hell was I teaching him how to kiss anyone. And, well, the second base thing was a no go too. At last, I got to Trey’s. Learn how to talk to girls. Learn how to ask someone out. Get Portia Rickard to go on at least one date with me. Get a new look. Make something of my senior year.

  My chest tightened. Okay, so Trey’s surprised me the most. He’d never mentioned Portia before. Not that I wouldn’t help him out, but she didn’t seem like his type. He was into video games, music, environmental issues. And she was pretty. She did beauty pageants and got crowned Miss Teen Michigan or something. But she was kind of flighty and barely got average grades.

  And why should I care who he wants to date?

  With another sigh, I set down the lists and grabbed my notebook from my desk. I needed to write down what the boys needed to do from my perspective. And first thing on the list was C.C.’s wild afro. It had to go. Definitely needed to plan a trip to the mall for clothes. I chewed the end of my pen. They would have to attend some ‘Delyla classes on conversing with the opposite sex.’

  My light blue curtains billowed as a gust of wind blew through the screen, carrying with it the scent of Lilac. Just then, I heard: woof-woof-woof. Followed by loud howls.

  Jimbo was on the loose again. Irritated, I slammed my notebook shut and marched over to my window, just in time to see him grabbing something from our clothesline.

  I shielded my eyes. “No. Drop that.” Son of a … he had my new thong. With my fists clenched, I raced down the hall, taking the stairs two at a time. Soon, I burst outside.

  “Drop that. Now,” I shouted.

  My bare feet sank into the thick grass as I ran into the backyard.

  “What’s going on?” Trey said, setting a bag of trash into his garbage bin.

  “He’s got my—some of my clothes.”

  Jimbo got down on his haunches and shook his head back and forth like a rabid beast.

  Trey moved in behind him. “Okay, I’ll come from the back and try to grab him, while you come in from the front.”

  “Okay.”

  “On the count of three,” he said. “One. Two … ”

  The dog leapt up and raced to the side, causing me and Trey to ram into each other.

  My head clunked into his. “Damn it.”

  “That mutt is way too smart for his own good.” He rubbed his forehead and reached down to help me up. His warm fingers closed around mine.

  “I think we need a better plan.” I eyed the monster dog, who laid down next to the large maple in our backyard. He gave me a puppy grin, like he knew exactly what he was doing.

  “Got a net?” he said.

  “Right, because dog catcher is my after school job.”

  Trey moved slowly toward Jimbo. “Hey, big guy. Come here so I can pet you.”

  “He’s not gonna fall for that.” I rolled my eyes.

  But the dog’s ears perked up. With my thong hanging out of his mouth, he loped over to Trey, who snatched my undergarments from him. He then reached out and scratched Jimbo behind the ears.

  “Good boy,” he said.

  “Good? He’s not good.”

  “Don’t listen to her, boy.”

  A second later, the dog lifted his leg and a stream of pee sprayed over Trey’s bare feet like a K-9 sprinkler system.

  I burst out laughing. “Oh. My. God. That was epic. See—I told you.”

  “Dang it, Jimbo.” Trey’s face scrunched up in disgust. He held his leg out to the side to try and shake it off.

  The pooch gave another doggy grin then trotted back into his own yard.

  “You want to use our hose to wash off?” Tears streamed down my face as I tried to compose myself.

  “And this is what I get for helping you.” He wrinkled his nose as he hobbled over to our outdoor faucet.

  “Sorry. But it was flipping funny.” As I followed after him, I stepped in something warm that squished between my toes. Please let that be mud. I stared in disgust at the pile of dog crap. “Gross. Gross. Gross.”

  Trey slapped me on the back and started laughing. “Now that’s hilarious.”

  “This is so sick. I swear, I’m gonna shovel up these piles and leave it on the neighbors doorstep.”

  He turned on the faucet. “Here, I’ll let you rinse off first.”

  Water sprayed out of the sprocket and I about gagged. “I’m so getting in the shower as soon as I get inside.”

  “Oh, did you want this back?” Trey held up my green, lacy thong, which was torn and covered in slobber. His ears turned pink when he realized what was in his hands.

  My cheeks warmed. “Um—probably not. I swear they must feed their dog Viagra coated dog food or something. He’s way too obsessed with humping things and stealing undergarments.”

  “Maybe we should get him into dog counseling.”

  I giggled. “Oh and by the way, my mom thinks you’ve been stealing her bras from our clothesline. I tried to tell her you’re not into older women.”

  He groaned. “And I think that’s my cue to head home—it’s been real.”

  “Yeah, maybe a little bit too real.” I waved and went back inside to shower.

  Chapter 5

  My lungs burned. Sweat beaded on my forehead. Any moment now, I expected my legs to fall off. I dribbled the soccer ball down the field, keeping it just ahead of me.

  “Push it, Denson.” Coach Rafferty hollered.

  If I pushed anymore, I’d barf.

  “God, I swear she’s trying to kill us.” Kenadi came up beside me, out of breath. “I’d like to see her ass out here.”

  “Twenty bucks says she’d keel over.” I grinned. “Never thought I’d say this, but I wish Coach Meckler wasn’t out for the next couple of games.

  Coach Rafferty stood on the sidelines, whistle to her lips. Her robust frame would give The Hulk a run for his money. “Less talking, more running.”

  “Remind me again why I love soccer?” Kenadi winced.

  We ran around the outside of the field, the sun beaming down us. A breeze fanned across my face, giving me some relief from the heat.

  I glanced at Kenadi again, as she matched my pace. I wondered what she’d think about me agreeing to start The Romeo Club? So, I’d been sworn to secrecy about it, but how could I keep something like this from my best friend? If I asked her, I knew she’d keep it quiet. Besides, it might be nice to have someone to go to if I needed help.

  My heart pounded against my chest, and I sucked in a deep breath of air. In through the nose. Out through the mouth.

  “There’s something I want to tell you. But you have to swear not to tell anyone.”

  Kenadi looked at me. “You know I won’t say anything. What’s up?”

  “I agreed to help the Nerd Herd get dates. Amongst other things.”

  She burst out laughing. “Yeah, right.”

  “I’m not kidding.”

  “Wait, what? You’re not serious.”

  “Yeah, I am. We’ve started a sort of club—The Romeo Club. I’m gonna teach them the ropes of how to talk to girls, get dates, interact with the human species.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “And what are you getting out of it?”

  I grinned. “Hopefully, my prom dress.”

  Coach’s whistle blasted. “Denson and Green, get moving or you’ll have extra laps.”

  Kenadi glowered at Coach Rafferty then turned her attention back to me. “So you’re getting paid?”

  “Yes.”

  “I wish I could help.”


  “Well, they’d freak if they knew I told you. But maybe there will be some things you can do for me.”

  She smiled. “I think what you’re doing is kind of sweet. I mean, who else would take a bunch guys like them and actually give them pointers.”

  “I’m definitely going to have my work cut out for me. You should see the lists they gave me on who they want.” I went on to tell her about what they’d written down.

  “If you want, I can do some spy work on Portia for you. She’s in quite a few of my classes. And trust me, she talks all the time, I shouldn’t have any issues getting info.”

  “I’d so owe you.”

  “No you wouldn’t. Hello. Best friend here.”

  ***

  When practice finished, I found Rex waiting for me in the parking lot. He’d just finished with track, one of the many sports he played. Sweat lathered his bangs and forehead as he chugged a bottle of water then tossed the container into his vehicle.

  “Hey,” I said as he gave me a quick hug. “You didn’t have to wait for me.”

  “It’s okay. I wanted to bring you home so I could spend a few minutes with you. Thought we might be able to hang out for a while tonight.”

  We hopped into his jeep. The black leather seats burned the backs of my legs as I slid into place. At this rate my butt cheeks might melt off.

  Guilt washed over me. “I’m actually busy tonight.”

  He leaned over, his gaze focused on me, as his lips brushed against mine. “Maybe we can do something on Saturday then.”

  “Um—I kind of already have plans.” Geez, I had to be the worst girlfriend in the world. I mean, what girl would turn down a chance to get together with Rex in favor of going to the mall with the Nerd Herd?

  “Are you avoiding me?” He quirked an eyebrow, as he shifted into drive and pulled up to the four way stop. He signaled a right then turned onto the main road toward home.

  “Of course not. The thing is, I’m being tutored in science now.” I blurted out, half expecting God to strike me down for lying.

  “You need a tutor? I thought you had an A in all your classes.”

  “This term’s been tough.”

  “You know, I could help you.” He reached over and took my hand in his.

  I laughed. “And I doubt we’d get any studying done. We’d wind up watching a baseball game or making out or anything other than homework.”

  He chuckled. “Well, it’d be fun.”

  When we parked in my driveway ten minutes later, the Nerd Herds’ vehicles were already there. “I’ll talk to you soon.” I gave him a kiss then opened the door.

  “Don’t those guys have their own houses?” He eyed their cars. “They’re here all the time.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Hell yeah, they get to spend time with you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Trust me, I’d rather be snuggled up with you.”

  When I climbed from his vehicle, I shut the door and waved goodbye. Juggling Rex, The Romeo Club, and soccer was about to get real interesting. With a sigh, I went inside. I took the stairs two at a time to find the guys in their usual video game playing positions.

  “Just to let you guys know, don’t make any plans for Saturday.”

  C.C. looked up with a smile. “Oh, are you taking us on a date?”

  I snorted. “Um, try the mall. We’re going to get you guys a wardrobe update, some cologne—and C.C. you’re getting a haircut.”

  “What’s wrong with my hair?” He tried to run a hand through his curly red afro and got his fingers tangled in it.

  “You look like a clown who stuck his fingers in a light socket.”

  Trey laughed. “She’s got a point.”

  “How about you stay out of this?” C.C. flipped him the bird.

  They bantered back and forth for a few minutes. How in the hell did I get roped into this? At the rate we were going, they’d have to buy mannequins and pretend they were their dates.

  “If you’re finished arguing now, I just wanted to warn you that when we get home from the mall, you’re getting your first lesson on how to talk to girls.”

  “This should be fun.” Drake glanced at me. “Too bad I won’t be around to witness this catastrophe.”

  Trey kicked his chair, sending him tumbling to the floor. With that, I left the family room. When I got upstairs, I found Kenadi had messaged me a list of things she knew about Portia. I added them to my notebook. Saturday would definitely be interesting. Hopefully, I survived the Nerd Herds’ introduction to the real world. But if what transpired downstairs was evidence, we were in serious trouble.

  Chapter 6

  C.C’s station wagon bounced over the potholes as he took the curve too fast, sending me sliding into Trey, who sat beside me in the backseat.

  “Geez, are you trying to kill us?” I attempted to reposition myself, thankful that I had a seatbelt. The, circa 1960, car smelled like his dad’s spicy aftershave. The olive green interior reminded me of baby crap and squashed peas. Not a great combo. But he’d volunteered to drive, which saved the rest of us gas money. Although, at the moment, I regretted not footing the bill and taking my car, if only to prolong my life an extra day.

  “You can walk if you want,” C.C. said. “Or maybe you’d like to come sit on my lap and help me steer.” He grinned in the rearview mirror.

  “I know where I’m about ready to shove that stick shift,” I said.

  Trey nudged me. “Do you really want to go there?”

  “Good point.”

  At last, the mall came into view. The most glorious thing I’d seen in the last half hour. C.C. slowed down and attempted to pull his boat of a car into a narrow space.

  “We’re not gonna fit,” Drake said from the passenger seat.

  My fingers dug into the seat as I braced myself for the worst. Please don’t let us crash.

  “Yes, we will. Besides, I don’t want to have to park in the back lot. You know how far of a walk that is?” C.C. attempted to cram the station wagon in. When he realized how close we were, he backed up and tried again. This time he managed to get between the yellow lines.

  Trey opened his door a crack and that was as wide as he could get it. “Um—was it your intention to hold us hostage in your car?”

  C.C. threw his door open, hitting the car next to us. But he couldn’t squeeze out.

  “Okay, everyone will have to crawl out the back tailgate door,” he said.

  “Or we could find another spot,” I said.

  When C.C. made no move to start the car, I sighed, undid my seatbelt, then spun in my seat and crawled over. With my midsection up in the air, I felt something hit my butt.

  “Ow, watch it,” C.C. said.

  “That better not have been your hand.” I glanced over my shoulder to see his head by my backside.

  “Nope, it was his face.” Drake laughed. “Now would be a great time to let one rip.”

  I hurried over the seat and landed in the back with a thump. Not wanting anyone else to touch my butt or any other part of me, I threw the back door open and practically rolled out. “I sure hope no one I know sees me like this.”

  Trey plopped out next and wiped off his khaki pants. “Yeah, this probably isn’t doing much for our image. We would’ve looked better riding bikes.”

  “Keep complaining and you’ll walk home.” C.C. crawled from the green beast, followed by Drake and Kevin.

  Once we shut the door we headed into the mall. “Okay, first thing we’re gonna do is get you some new clothes.” My gaze swept over their outfits, which included khakis, dress shirts, loafers and C.C.’s horrendous brown turtleneck, which made him look like a head coming out of turd. I felt like I was in some sixties or seventies cartoon. Seriously, did his grandma dress him this morning?

  We made our way up the escalator and to the first store. Rock music pulsed from overhead, while salespeople stood back, observing us like a pack of
lions on a safari. Designer cologne wafted in the air. I scoured the jean racks for the guys’ sizes then started handing the clothes to them.

  “Holy crap, how many pairs of these do I have to try on?” Kevin wrinkled his nose.

  “They’re different brands, so we need to see what fits. If we find one you like, we can search for more colors and designs.” They acted like they’d never been shopping before. As I glanced over my shoulder at their current clothing choices, I realized maybe they hadn’t.

  The Nerd Herd followed me as I went through the shirt racks to find T-shirts and polos, tossing numerous colored garments into their arms. After they each had several outfits in hand, I led them to the changing rooms.

  Drake leaned against the wall, while we waited for the others to come out and show off their clothes. “I’m glad I don’t have to go through this again.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Need I remind you of how successful your image change was?”

  “Nope. I already know.”

  “So why did you come today?”

  “Moral support. And I need to pick up some cologne for my date tonight.”

  Right, this was symphony night for him and Chloe. And technically his first date if you didn’t count the band room thing.

  My eyes roamed over the fake palm trees displayed around the store, along with surfboards, which indicated what section we were in. Beach balls hung from strings above our heads, swinging back and forth beneath the forced air coming from the vents overhead.

  Trey was the first to step out of his room. My breath caught in my throat. The tight blue T-shirt brought out his tan and showed off sculpted biceps I didn’t realize he had until now. Not to mention his brilliant shade of sky colored eyes. The jeans sat against his narrow hips and fit better than the khakis he normally wore.

  “So is this an improvement?”

  I swallowed hard. “Yeah. Like 100%. You should definitely get the outfit.”

  He smiled. “Look out Portia, here I come.”

  “Portia and every other girl.”

  The others came out with different outfits on as well. C.C. of course did a runway walk and spun around, throwing his butt out at an obnoxious angle as he swayed his hips.